How best to handle things in the middle of a little (or big) mama drama??? Well, I guess it’s different for everyone, but I know I need my space. I can be patient and hold in my frustrations for a while and then I can feel the annoyances building and building until I feel like I’m going to lose it. That’s not the time to try any of the strategies I’ve read or heard about, though.
So, as to not let things then go too far and turn into an even bigger blow up, I try to get some physical space between my mother and me. It can be as close as just the next room, but sometimes I actually have to leave the building. When I do, I can take a little time to decompress and gain control of myself again. I try to take some deep breaths and think more calmly.
Once the edge is gone, I then try to think through my next plan of action. I’ve learned over the years in several of my relationships that often you can apologize for the situation getting out of control or feelings being hurt, without actually apologizing for any specific behavior or action on your part (if you truly think that you did nothing wrong).
If it was your mother who did the hurting, at least if you’re calmer you might be able to speak with her sanely about what just happened and how it could be avoided in the future. And your mother might even surprise you. I find that if I can react more calmly with my mom, it often helps her to react more calmly as well. And what a nice feeling that is…