For Mothers

The primary focus of this website is on the adult daughter’s perspective of the mother-daughter relationship, but there is certainly a lot of overlap…every mother is/was a daughter and many daughters are also mothers. We have found that a helpful strategy in trying to heal the mother-daughter relationship is to try to see things from the other’s perspective and to try to understand their feelings, motivations and viewpoint. That’s why mothers often find the articles, videos and resources on this site to be helpful too. But this section is specifically For Mothers:

broken heart Visit our Mother-Daughter Estrangement Page
Teens image For those mothers with teens, visit Moms & Teen Girls Page for strategies

Featured Article

Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today’s New Mother-Daughter Relationship

By Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer, Oprah.com

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want,
and then advise them to do it. 
~ Harry Truman

We believe mothers and their adult daughters can’t be best friends, but they can develop a gratifying relationship.  Turbulence happens when a mother can’t accept her daughter as an adult.  The basic question for mothers is:  Do you trust your daughter to be an independent and self-sufficient woman?  And can you support her in making choices and doing things differently from how you would do them?  Control is elusive, even when your daughter is younger, and it certainly is less appropriate when she is an adult.  One of the most important messages you can give to your daughter is your permission to let her be herself, and as she becomes an adult, you should expect that same acceptance from her.

We want to avoid some of the dysfunctional patterns that may have occurred when our daughters were younger.  What we say to our daughter as an adult, she may still hear with the ears of her younger self.  We have to be more cautious with adult daughters, because we want them to hear us with their adult selves.  According to Jane Isay, author of Walking on Eggshells: Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents, parents should “keep their mouths shut and their doors open.”

All of us have to accept at this point in ourcontinue reading

More Articles

Why Don’t I Like My Own Child?

Why Don’t I Like My Own Child?
How could a mother “never like” her child?  That is the question asked in this controversial article that appears in the latest issue of Redbook Magazine.  Read the article below and watch a Today Show interview with the author of the article, the editor of Redbook and a psychologist. We decided read more

Jealous of Your Child

Jealous of Your Child
By Lisa Belkin, The New York Times, Motherload - Adventures in Parenting Over on Slate yesterday, a reader wrote to the Dear Prudence column, looking for advice.  She asked, in part: I am the mother of a tall, shapely, stunning, 17-year-old daughter … I have worked to help her be strong, securread more

Improving the Mother-Daughter Relationship

Improving the Mother-Daughter Relationship
Book Excerpt: For many, motherhood is one of life's greatest joys, but getting along with your children, particularly daughters, isn't always a piece of cake. In “Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication,” author Dr. Charles Sophy examines this familread more

Building the Mother-Daughter Connection

Building the Mother-Daughter Connection
By Barbara Katz Have you ever asked yourself...Why do I have to walk on egg shells around my daughter?  Why does my daughter feel criticized when I'm just trying to help?  How can my daughter say I don't understand her?  Why must I bite my tongue when I see how she parents her children?  These aread more

Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship

Too Close for Comfort?  Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship
By Linda Perlman Gordon and Susan Morris Shaffer, Oprah.com I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want, and then advise them to do it.  ~ Harry Truman We believe mothers and their adult daughters can't be best friends, but they can develop a gratread more

Moms without Mothers

Moms without Mothers
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economyread more

Problems With My Grown Daughter

Problems With My Grown Daughter
Question: I have a grown daughter problem that is tearing me apart and I don't know what to do! She blames me for everything that has gone wrong in her life, especially in the last few years! Her father died in 2004 and since then it has become even more of a downhill struggle - for blame! I cread more

When Moms Envy Daughters

When Moms Envy Daughters
By Tara Deliberto, PhDc, ParentingPink.com You’re a mother of a daughter you adore.  You would do absolutely anything for her.  While she is off socializing with her friends, occupying herself with hobbies, and toying with ideas of what she wants to become, you have the pleasure of sitting back aread more

How to Improve the Mother-Daughter Bond

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Conflict & Comfort

Conflict & Comfort
The Mother-Daughter Bond - Conflict & Comfort By Elinor Robin, Ph.D. For many women, the mother-daughter connection is life's most complex relationship. So it comes as no surprise that many of us struggle with the relationship that we share with our mothers and many of us struggle with the rread more