Daughter as Caregiver

Taking care of mom…
It may be one of the hardest things you ever have to do.

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Forgiving Your Parent

Forgiving Your Parent for How They Treated You in the Past
By Marlo Sollitto, AgingCare.com

Every caregiver has a family history. Some of that history may be unpleasant, disappointing or even abusive.  A caregiver’s experience of abuse, neglect and addiction leaves lasting scars.  Moving beyond the past is never easy.  But what happens when someone in your family becomes ill or incapacitated and you are called upon to care for them?  What is your responsibility, based on their past treatment of you?  How do you take care of your parents or spouse when they didn’t take good care of you – and in fact may have done you harm?

Many caregivers struggle with the huge responsibility when it is suddenly – and usually unexpectedly – thrust upon them.  They are in a quandary, because they know society thinks they should care for their parents or spouse.  Some of them have religious issues about “honoring their parents,” no matter what.  However, many feel that they just cannot give the emotional and physical care their family member needs.

If you are caring for an elderly family member, but feeling resentment and anger about their past actions, remember, healing can happen when emotionally destroyed families find a way to forgive.  If you would like to let go of anger and forgive, but are stumped with the question of how to forgive, here are tips that might help.

Focus on Today

Study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitudecontinue reading

More Articles

Weathering Old Man Winter

Weathering Old Man Winter
By Madison Hill The New Year is notorious for bringing cold weather conditions.  I usually just grit my teeth and bear the cold with a few (million) complaints here and there.  For mom, however, the cold presents some serious chilly-challenges.  This winter, I’ve found that with a little bit ofread more

Caring for Parents Who Didn't Care for You

Caring for Parents Who Didn't Care for You
By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com Last week, a journalist (we'll call her Nancy) wanted to interview me about some caregiving issues.  We chatted a bit about the article she was writing and she got some quotes.  During the talk, we bonded. As Nancy talked, she described the turmoil she iread more

Carol O'Dell, author of Mothering Mother

Carol O'Dell, author of Mothering Mother
While the video below is not of the quality we would like, we found it to be both humorous and touching and well worth a look. SANDWICHED? Many daughters who are caregivers also take care of their own young children. This is known as "The Sandwich Generation." For information, click here. read more

Handling Criticism from Your Family

Handling Criticism from Your Family
AgingCare.com What do you do when an insult is hurled your way, privately or publicly? Do you pretend you didn't hear it, hurl an insult right back, or hold it in and cry when you're alone? How we deal with criticism -- no matter who it's from -- will determine whether we develop a tough skin read more

Early Grief and the Long Goodbye: Grieving Parents Before They Are Gone

Early Grief and the Long Goodbye: Grieving Parents Before They Are Gone
by Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com Nearly everyone involved in caring for aging loved ones is experiencing grief.  Often, however, we’re not aware of this grief.  We have a parent who used to be strong and capable begin to ask for a little assistance.  No big deal, right?  We’re happy toread more

Detaching With Love: Setting Boundaries in Toxic Relationships

Detaching With Love:  Setting Boundaries in Toxic Relationships
AgingCare.com When the family member we are trying to care for is impossible to please, it’s often because of long-standing family dynamics. I’m not talking about someone in intolerable pain, or someone who has little control over their brain because of dementia or Alzheimer’s. In those cases, weread more

When Should Seniors Turn Over the Keys? (Video)

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Keep Caregiving From Ruining Your Other Relationships

Keep Caregiving From Ruining Your Other Relationships
By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com In the 1970s, there were ongoing debates about whether a woman could balance a family with a career. The discussions centered on being a good wife, mother and employee.  The question seldom posed, in those days, was how, besides being a wife, mother and carread more

Step Away From the Donut: The Perils of Emotional Eating

Step Away From the Donut:  The Perils of Emotional Eating
By Carol Bradley Bursack, AgingCare.com As far back as breast or formula feeding, most of us learned that a sweet taste meant care and comfort.  As we grew into more grown up foods, we generally learn to equate certain goods with comfort.  Our parents picked up on these foods and would offer read more

Role Reversal in Caring for Your Aging Parents

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