Mother’s Day can be stressful…
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- The History of Mother’s Day
- The Best Mother’s Day Gifts of 2021
- Mother’s Day Advice & Gift Ideas for Caregivers
- Virtual Ways to Celebrate Mom
- Mother’s Day Memes
Mother’s Day Alert…
5 Tips on how to keep your mother from driving you crazy this one special day of the year!
Ah, the mother-daughter relationship…
When the Mother-Daughter relationship is challenging to begin with, Mother’s Day can exacerbate an already stressful situation. Therefore, here are 5 tips to help keep your mom from driving you crazy this holiday. These are
strategies that work other days of the year as well. Happy Mother’s Day!
1) Keep it short, sweetheart – Limit the time you spend together if you can. 2-3 hours max is good. Try not to let your visit drag out all day.
2) Be prepared – Your mother is your mother and she’s going to push the buttons she usually pushes. Manage your expectations and realize that your mother will criticize you, drive you crazy or do whatever she normally does. Just be prepared for this. Don’t expect otherwise. Also try to recognize that her behavior may actually come from a place of caring as well as from wanting to be needed and helpful.
3) Just d
o it – Get out of the house! Do an activity rather than just go to eat; this will give you time together without having to talk and then it will give you something specific to talk about later. This will help take the day’s focus off of you and your relationship. Attending a local play, movie, comedy show, flower exhibition, class (cooking, etc.) or going to a salon, botanical garden, zoo, museum, historical tour together will give you a shared experience to discuss later. If you have to spend time at home and can’t get out, then rent a movie, play a game, etc. Just stay active.
4) Break the pattern –In preparation for Mother’s Day, think about when things break down between the two of you and when during the day arguments usually ensue. Is it when you first walk in the door (because she criticizes you right away?), when you are leaving (because she doesn’t want you to go), during cooking of the meal, during the meal itself, when certain topics come up? Think about those times and try to figure out a way to do them differently. For example, if she usually gets upset when you leave, talk about the next time you’re going to see her rather than just rushing out the door. That may lessen some of her anxiety and help the situation. Just try to do things differently and you may get a different result.
5) Give a verbal gift – This is actually one of the best gifts you can give to your mother. Think about something your mother either did for you as a child or that she does for you now that you especially like and tell her about it and how much you appreciate it. Everybody does something right. It’s a nice gift to tell her that she will appreciate. This can help extend some healing and can maybe even lead to some positive changes in the relationship.
The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in your feelings of anxiety and stress over Mother’s Day. It can be a difficult and emotional day when dealing with your mother. Give some of these strategies a try to make for a more peaceful day. They may not all work for everyone and in every situation. If one doesn’t work, just try another or try them in combination.
Certainly, the ideal mother fantasy is very rare indeed. Seeing your mother as a human being with hopes and dreams and challenges of her own is important. And remember, she’s your mother, with all her faults, and all you can do is deal with what you have.
Written by Barb Wilkov award-winning writer and Co-Founder of Motherrr.com.
