How to Deal With a Jealous Mother

By Jessica Hopkins

We all got here because we all have a mother. Mothers bring us into this world physically, of course, but after that part is complete, their job is to nurture and support us. Mothers want their children to grow up to be successful and happy; at least that is what emotionally healthy mothers want. Unfortunately, not all mothers are emotionally healthy. Some mothers are different. They are insecure and jealous, and feel threatened when their adult children succeed. My mother is one of these people. This article is for those of you who have mothers like mine, and to give you some tips on how to cope emotionally with their jealousies and insecurities.

I am a grown adult child of my mother, and through my growing-up years, I have always seen the signs of her insecurities. When I was young, I was way too thin, and had really messed up teeth. She always said things like, “Well, she’s not pretty, but she’s smart.” Then I became a teenager, and things changed for me physically. I put on a bit of weight, became very involved in athletic pursuits and was in great physical shape. I also got extensive orthodontic care which made my teeth look much better. Suddenly then, I was a threat to her.

Just when I needed her support the most, she failed me by becoming jealous of my physical growth. This example of her behavior has followed me since then, but has just evolved as I have evolved. When I succeed physically, financially, or emotionally with healthy romantic relationships or friendships with others, I get verbally abused, demeaned, and embarrassed by her in public, private, or wherever she can do it. This comes in the form of raising her voice loudly in public, throwing fits, insulting me in front of friends or people I do business with, and more.

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