- Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don’t.
- If you can’t remember whether or not you called your mother, you didn’t.
- The motherly advice you ignore will always turn out to be the best advice she ever gave you.
- Never criticize your mother’s cooking if you expect to get any more of it.
- If you think you have any secrets from your mother, remember who has changed your diapers.
- Never lie to your mother. And if you do, never think you got away with it.
- The older you are, the more you feel like a child around your mother.
- Mother’s way is best. If you don’t believe it, ask her.
- When you are broke, ask mom for a loan. She will help you remember what you wasted all your money on.
- The more times mother reminds you to take an umbrella, the greater the probability of rain.
- Accomplishments are made possible by your mother – failures are your own fault.
- Mother can always tell you a better way to do something after you’ve already done it.
- The longer it’s been since you cleaned house, the more likely it is that mother will visit.
- Never tell your mother you have nothing to do. She can always find something.
- There are always two sides to a story – the way it really happened and the way mother remembers it.
- Mothers always “know.” We don’t know how – they just do.
