Moms & Teen Girls

Moms & teenage daughters – a recipe for conflict…

Featured Article

You Don’t Really Know Me

You Don’t Really Know Me
By Terri Apter

Few other family pairings are quite as combustible as a teenage daughter and her mother. In fact, they argue, on average, every two-and-a-half days.  These quarrels are actually attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both mothers and daughters, as psychologist, Terri Apter, discusses in her book, You Don’t Really Know Me: Why Mothers and Daughters Fight, and How Both Can Win.

In fact, even fights that seem to be about nothing are a teenager’s attempt to navigate perilous emotional terrain.  Handled well, these battles can help both mother and daughter emerge with a renewed closeness, says Apter.  It’s not the frequency or intensity of the battles, but, instead, what happens during them that can strengthen or damage the relationship.

“Fighting well with a mother is an important skill,” Apter states.  Mothers who ridicule, shame, silence or issue an ultimatum may undermine their ties to daughters who are seeking to recast their relationship, not destroy it.

A teenage girl, she writes, wants her mother to see her as she is, or as she aspires to be, and not as the little girl she once was — or whom her mother hoped she would become.

A daughter often feels her mother doesn’t know or understand her, and by fighting hopes to force her mother into a new awareness of who she really is, how she has changed, and what she is now capable of doing and understanding.  But mothers often misinterpret their daughter’s outburstscontinue reading

More Articles

Strengthen Your Mother-Daughter Connection

Strengthen Your Mother-Daughter Connection
Hey moms, your daughters are listening and watching and they want to connect with you! Author Vikki Carrel, explains how to create a strong mother daughter connection. click image to watch videoread more

I Love My Teenage Daughter, But I Can't Stand Her Right Now

I Love My Teenage Daughter, But I Can't Stand Her Right Now
By Evelyn Resh, Oprah.com Tears, fights and backtalk—raising a teenage daughter is not always a bed of roses.  But what's normal? Evelyn Resh wants you to know that loving her and liking her don't always have to go together. I have yet to meet a woman parenting a teen girl who hasn't lookread more

You Don't Really Know Me

You Don't Really Know Me
You Don't Really Know Me By Terri Apter Few other family pairings are quite as combustible as a teenage daughter and her mother. In fact, they argue, on average, every two-and-a-half days.  These quarrels are actually attempts to negotiate changes in a relationship that is valued by both motherread more

Parenting Adolescents and the Problem of Blame

Parenting Adolescents and the Problem of Blame
by Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D., Psychology Today Exchanging blame between parent and teenager risks doing harm Blame is the act of charging some personal injury to other people or to oneself.  It is meant to fix responsibility for wrong doing or what went wrong.  Blame is about finding and fixingread more

I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!

I'm Not Mad, I Just Hate You!
Moms and Teen Girls Article... How to Survive Your Daughter's Teen Years By Kyanna Sutton, FamilyEducation.com The surging hormones and emotional changes that frame our daughters' adolescence can feel like a roller coaster ride.  Sometimes the "terrible teens" can dim the glow of the most conread more

Mothering Like Our Mothers

Mothering Like Our Mothers
By Janet, Michigan No one really teaches you how to be a mother.  Not exactly.  But your mother is your primary role model, for better or for worse.  You can choose to be like her, or you can choose not to be like her.  Or something in between.  And occasionally, it’s involuntary—you know, you saread more

Mom and Teen Traveling Together

Mom and Teen Traveling Together
First a mother's perspective on her and her teenage daughter's trip and then the daughter's tip for traveling with your mom. Paradise Lost: A Mother-Daughter Spring Break By Alessandra Stanley, The New York Times ONE of the good things about divorce is that you get to see less of your chilread more