Mother-Daughter Communication: Battleground or Fine Art?

We like the article below because, in addition to being insightful, it includes three very specific actionable tips.  It is also written in a fun, entertaining way.  Since we are real proponents of keeping things light and seeing the humor in most situations, we really appreciate this style of writing. We feel this is a great read for all mothers of teen and young adult daughters (who still live with you)!   ~ Barb & Laurie

Mother-Daughter Communication:  Battleground or Fine Art?
By Darlene Brock, CNN.com

The battleground of words is a place all mothers of daughters will find themselves. The day that sweet little face looks at you with complete defiance challenging every mother bone in your body, you need to be prepared for the inevitable event.

I’m here with a little advice for the brave ladies who are taking on the most difficult job in the world, raising daughters. It is in the arena of words that the job will be done well. So, here are three effective mother-daughter communication tips that can absolutely bring success.

The first: As a mother it is your place to defuse, not to ignite. In the world of females there is a wonderful trait we each possess: That quality is called tenacity. So when we engage with our daughters, we find that characteristic at work. We ask, they respond, we respond, they respond, we react, they react and on and on, with both mother and daughter determined to have the last word.

Mom, you’ve got to keep your “feminine side” under control. State your position in a reasoned and controlled way, on expectations and consequences. Then the tenacity you must employ is to stick to it without igniting a firestorm.

There will be days you just have to end the confrontation by declaring that each of you will go to your separate corners. I would enter mine, which was usually my bedroom, and stick my head in my pillow. This was to effectively muffle the muted screams of a frustrated mom. After emotionally declaring every word that I wanted to say to my daughter into that bundle of polyester stuffing, I would gather my wits.

Leaving my room with my calm and controlled face I re-entered the arena to successfully complete the conversation.

The second tip all mothers must remember is to listen. Our goal is to be great mothers, not perfect mothers, so this means (this may come as a surprise) we are not always right. We don’t possess perfect understanding of all circumstances and even our rules may at times need revision.

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