With Mother’s Day coming up and Father’s Day soon to follow, I got to thinking. I still have my mom here (hence, the need for this website!) and I feel very lucky about that. But I also know the time will come when she won’t be anymore. That will be sooner than I’d like to think considering that she is now 88. Having just lost my dad a few years ago, those feelings of loss are still very fresh in my mind.
But losing my mom will be different. Not only will her loss mean the loss of my “last” parent, making me an adult orphan, but it will also be the loss of my mom. That complicated, up and down, frustrating but loving and unique relationship. Will I even really know who I am without my mom?
My mother has always been there for me one way or another. Sometimes it’s been just to set me straight or to critique me and my choices but it’s also been to advise me, to support me, to love me. We’ve had our screaming matches and our times of not speaking to each other. It’s been terrible and terrific; frustrating and funny. There have been times I’ve wanted to tear my hair out and times she did too. But she’s been my mom for always and is the only one I’ve ever known.
I know she’s done the best she could under the circumstances of her own life. She managed to make me who I am today, which I have to say, is pretty darn good. She raised a smart, caring, honest, responsible woman with strong morals and empathy for others. I may not have all the same interests she has (politics just isn’t my thing and American Idol isn’t hers!) or the same goals for myself that she might like me to have, but I know she’s proud of me for what I’ve accomplished and for the good person that I am. Isn’t that what counts? And all these things that make me who I am I have learned from her. So, despite our differences and problems over the years, I have a lot to thank her for. I guess it’s nice to let her know that too.